You’re doing enough
I’ve been a huge over achiever in my life and for years I’d feel guilty if I stopped for a rest or to have time off to enjoy myself.
I think part of this came from my upbringing as my parents worked a lot, running their own businesses, and never really liked us inside watching TV when we were kids. We were always told to go out and play, always doing lots of hobbies and activities, and we also worked from a young age. We were lucky as children in this way, as got to do some great things while growing up in Tasmania. Plus we were taught some amazing work ethics, which I am truly grateful for today, carrying them throughout my life, and keeping up the tradition of being busy!
Although it was later in life, when I began to realize that part of the drive to continue to be busy, and overachieving, was also due to my lack of self esteem. Not feeling good enough. I was often trying to please others and strive for more.
I also had a perfectionist streak and all these combined are a perfect (pardon the pun) concoction for either a breakdown or getting sick.
You guessed it, that‘s what happened to me, as I was not looking after myself enough on a number of occasions in my life.
Now, thankfully, after a great deal of personal work on myself, I’m more aware and see the signs when my mind and body is saying enough. I also treat myself differently. I’m not so hard on myself. I’m no longer a perfectionist, and this means life is far more fun and my mind and body thank me for it.
I have seen this new way of being in my choices recently, during quarantine, which I’m happy about. Consciously choosing a different mindset, to tell myself I’m doing enough. Consciously making decisions, (allowing myself to make these decisions) based around what I’ve needed for myself, my body and for my own health, and not taking on too much.
We have to be kind to ourselves, we have to realize that we ARE doing enough. We’re always doing our best .
This can relate to exercise, to work, to raising children, relationships. Whatever it is. We don’t set out to intentionally not do something well. We always do the best we are capable of doing at that time.
Too often we are our worst critic, we don’t give ourselves enough credit for what we’re already doing or have done.
Since social media came along, more challenges are thrown to us. We now see what others are doing, and we sometimes compare ourselves.
I recently read an article on this topic. Apparently there is a thing called Quarantine Comparison. Many people are seeing what others are doing right now and not feeling like they’re doing enough. It’s so easy to fall into this trap. Yet it’s really important, now more than ever, to not compare, as all of our situations are different right now. We already have so many extra stresses on us than we normally did pre Covid-19. We have to remember what is shown on social media is never the full picture of someone’s life.
For example when it comes to our exercise. Some of us will be doing more than others. Some have more time than others. So it’s really important to measure yourself against you only. Sure we often need inspiration and motivation from others to do more, and to help us along our way, I get that, yet we must be aware that is only what it’s for. It’s not to feel bad on ourselves that we are not doing enough
Always check in on your self talk. Are you being kind to yourself?
If you do 10 mins are you saying great, I have just done 10 mins – well done. Or are you saying, I should be doing more?
If you didn’t workout for a certain period of time, are you beating yourself up, or are you saying,”that’s ok my life couldn’t allow it right now, as I had other priorities that needed to take priority”.
Check in. Be happy with your achievements. Sure set goals, eg tomorrow I would love to do more, perhaps 30 mins instead of 15 mins. Or I will increase each day. Whatever your goals are. But get in the habit of saying to yourself, “today I’m so happy I just managed to fit in 10 mins and I feel so much better for it.”
On the flip side, if you are doing lots of exercise already, are you allowing yourself to have a rest day? Are you feeling like you are pushing yourself ? Like you can’t push yourself anymore?
Listen to your language. Is it loving?
Are you enjoying what you’re doing, and the feelings you get after. OR do you feel exhausted and depleted and never satisfied that we have done enough ?
Be sure to tell yourself you ARE doing enough.
That is this months focus.
As I write this during Covid 19 and 47 days into quarantine it’s even more important than ever to take on board this information.
Let me know how you’re feeling in he comments below.
Sending lots of love and positive vibes and remember, you are doing enough.
Em xx
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